DYNAMIS!
A publication of St. George Orthodox Christian Cathedral
Wichita, KS
1 Corinthians 4:1-5 (9/12) Epistle for Saturday
of the Fourteenth Week after Pentecost
Self-Examination: 1 Corinthians 4:1-5, especially vss.
3, 4: “...I do not even judge
myself. For I know nothing against
myself, yet I am not justified by this; but He who judges me is the
Lord.” Briefly stated, an
essential matter you and I must face in this life is expressed by the Apostle
Paul in the present passage: “...consider us, as servants of Christ and
stewards of the mysteries of God.
Moreover it is required in stewards that one be
found faithful.” If you do not
consider yourself to be a servant of Christ and a steward of the mysteries of
God, then put away this page on self-examination, for it is oriented to those
of us who know we are servants. On
the other hand, if you affirm the Baptismal vows in answering the repeated
questioning, “Dost thou unite thyself unto Christ?” or “Hast
thou united thy self unto Christ,” and if you are still declaring,
“I believe, O Lord, and I confess that Thou art truly the Christ, the Son
of the living God Who didst come into the world to save sinners of whom I am
chief,” then self-examination is for you.
Saint Paisius Velichkovsky helps us who consider ourselves Christ’s
servants, by speaking to us this way: “...brethren, having come to see
the shortness of our life and the vanity of this age, let us take care for the
hour of death, leaving off the tumult of this world and the useless worldly
cares....but we should even hide ourselves under the earth, mourn there over
our sins while we are still alive, and live while dying for the sake of God in
struggle.” This is akin to
the ongoing practice of good navigators.
Christ’s faithful servants need to review how we are
“holding to the course,” how we are managing the mysteries of God;
for life in Christ certain.
Given our life-need for constant adjustment
and correction, we have to evaluate ourselves against the standard: faithfulness. Remember? “...it is required in stewards that
one be found faithful” (vs. 2). In this meditation we are not going to
take readers through self-examination.
What Saint Paisius says is true: each of us is
“...to live while dying for the sake of God in struggle.” Self-examination, aided by our
confessors, is a struggle for each of us; and, being stewards, we need put
ourselves to the task. Again as
Saint Paisius says: “Every evening we must test
ourselves as to how the day passed with us, and every morning we again should
test ourselves as to how the night passed.
And not only at some definite time but at every time and in every place
and concerning everything we must give account to ourselves....”
Be careful here: in accepting with Saint Paul
that we are stewards and have to examine ourselves as stewards,
look out for a serious shoal - a reef - where we can founder and destroy
ourselves in conducting self-examination.
Do not confuse self-examination with judgment (vss. 3-5). Thanks be to
God, the Apostle sharply warns us against this frequent confusion!
Judging, in the spiritual life, is God’s
business alone. All judging,
including spiritual judgment, has to do with “disposition.” When examinations are conducted and all
evidence is weighed, good jurists issue a disposition concerning the one
standing before them. Disposition
defines judgment. It is not an
on-course correction. Spiritually,
Christ our Judge alone shall pass judgment and declare our disposition as His
stewards. This is why
Life’s present urgency is
self-examination. As Saint Paisius says, “First, one must clean the royal house
from every impurity and adorn it with every beauty, then
the king may enter....”
For I will declare mine
iniquity, and I will take heed concerning my sin. (Ps. 37:18).
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